The Skill That Changes Everything

How to cultivate Agency, take control, and shape the life you want — no matter when you start.

Many people think of Agency as something you have or don’t have — an innate trait, like being naturally athletic or charismatic. But Agency isn’t fixed nor a privilege reserved for the lucky few. Agency is a skill, one that anyone can cultivate with practice. It’s not about being fearless or always knowing the right move. It’s about embracing uncertainty, taking deliberate action, and learning from the process.

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How to cultivate Agency article by Greg Twemlow, image by Image_FX

I didn’t always have Agency — or at least, I didn’t know how to use it. In my early career, I made conventional choices because they felt safe. But over time, I realised that Agency isn’t about playing it safe; it’s about creating edges, seeking out opportunities others might overlook, and daring to make things happen. Today, with tools like Agentic AI, we have unprecedented potential to amplify this process. Let’s explore how humans can cultivate Agency with the help of Agentic AI.

Be Open to Rejection

Agency starts with boldness, and boldness often leads to rejection. If you only aim for what feels achievable, you’ll never test the limits of your potential.

Embrace the power of rejection. It’s not a roadblock but a stepping stone to your growth. You recalibrate your sense of what’s possible by asking for unreasonable things. Apply to a job you’re convinced you won’t get or reach out to a mentor you admire but assume won’t respond. These risks will teach you to decouple rejection from dejection and make you feel more courageous and resilient.

Agentic AI can support this by serving as a mirror, helping you identify patterns in your approach to risk-taking. It can highlight where fear of rejection is holding you back or analyse the tone of your pitches to reveal areas for improvement. By reflecting on your behaviour, AI helps you take more informed and strategic risks.

It’s hard to overstate how transformative honest feedback can be. It’s like a guiding light in the dark, providing security and confidence. But feedback is hard to get — it requires vulnerability and trust.

To make this easier, use anonymous feedback tools. For example, add a feedback form to your website or social media profiles, inviting constructive criticism. Most responses will be encouraging, but occasionally, you’ll get a message that challenges you in ways that spark real growth.

AI acts as a mentor by helping you gather and interpret feedback. Tools like sentiment analysers or public speaking assistants can guide tone, clarity, and presentation. AI’s ability to provide detailed, nonjudgmental critiques is like having a personal coach ready to point you in the right direction.

Success often hinges on serendipity — meeting the right person, hearing the right idea, or stumbling onto the right opportunity. But you can multiply the odds of this happening by increasing your ‘surface area for luck.’ By reaching out to people doing interesting work, you take control of your luck, making you feel more empowered and in charge.

Reach out to people doing interesting work, even if the connection has no apparent benefit. Take the meeting that seems irrelevant. In my own experience, nearly all of my most fruitful collaborations came from chance conversations with people I almost didn’t bother contacting.

AI is a multiplier, expanding your network and exposing you to opportunities you might not have discovered. For example, AI networking assistants can suggest collaborators based on shared goals or analyse your skills to identify adjacent fields worth exploring. The more connections you make, the more chances you have to encounter transformative opportunities.

Most traits people treat as fixed — confidence, charisma, resilience — are learnable if you approach them like any other skill. For years, I thought charisma was innate. Then, I started studying charismatic people, adopting their habits, and practising in low-stakes situations. Over time, it became second nature.

Similarly, assume Agency is a skill you can learn. Begin by identifying small, agentic moves — like speaking up in meetings, taking on a new project, or making unconventional decisions — and gradually build from there.

As a mentor, AI can provide structured learning pathways, curate resources, and give real-time feedback. For example, AI-powered learning platforms can create personalised lessons to help you build confidence or refine interpersonal skills.

When you’re learning something new, there’s an inevitable period of awkwardness and incompetence. I call this the moat of low status — a place where you’re bad at the thing, and everyone knows it. Crossing this moat requires humility, patience, and a willingness to be vulnerable. It’s essential to embrace this stage as a necessary part of the learning process rather than a sign of failure.

AI can help you navigate this stage by serving as a mirror and a mentor. For example, a creator using AI tools to experiment with new techniques can receive instant feedback in a low-risk environment. The AI provides encouragement and practical guidance, making pushing through the discomfort of being a beginner easier.

It’s easy to confuse Agency with relentless effort. But grinding too hard kills creativity and big-picture thinking — two essential components of Agency. Burnout is the ultimate agency killer.

As a multiplier, AI can help you protect your energy by automating repetitive tasks and streamlining workflows. Tools like AI scheduling assistants or automated content creators can handle routine tasks, allowing you to focus on what matters most. By reducing the cognitive load of these tasks, AI can help prevent burnout and preserve the mental bandwidth needed for creative and strategic decisions. You work smarter, not harder, and maintain a healthy balance between effort and rest.

AI as Your Partner in Agency

Agentic AI isn’t just a tool — it’s a catalyst for developing Agency. It amplifies your ability to reflect, learn, and act by serving as:

• A Mirror: Helping you see yourself clearly by analysing patterns in your behaviour and decisions.
• A Mentor: Guiding your growth with personalised advice, structured pathways, and actionable feedback.
• A Multiplier: Expanding your capacity by automating tasks, scaling efforts, and exposing you to new opportunities.

Imagine an entrepreneur leveraging Agentic AI

• Mirror: AI dashboards reveal blind spots in their business strategy.
• Mentor: The AI refines its pitch and simulates investor negotiations.
• Multiplier: Automation tools handle routine marketing tasks, freeing up time for innovation.

This partnership between human Agency and Agentic AI creates a virtuous cycle where self-awareness, learning, and action reinforce one another.

Agency is the skill that has shaped the world around us. It’s the ability to take deliberate action to make your corner of the world more like what you want it to be — professionally, relationally, and aesthetically. Build a better mousetrap. Start a country. Reinvent your career.

No one is born with Agency; it’s something we learn. With Agentic AI, we have tools to accelerate this learning, making Agency more accessible than ever. It’s never too late to take control of your fate. Start today.

Yes, you can create an AI Agent with the explicit purpose of enabling and amplifying your Agency. Such an AI Agent could be a personalised assistant that helps you make better decisions and actively promotes self-awareness, skill development, and strategic action.

Here’s my conceptual framework for designing an Agency-Enhancing AI Agent. This is non-trivial, as it requires AI programming expertise, but it gives you a sense of the possible scope of help.

Core Functions of an Agency-Enhancing AI Agent

Self-Awareness Mirror

• The AI serves as a reflective tool, helping you understand your strengths, weaknesses, habits, and blind spots.

Capabilities:

• Analyse yAnalysely actions, patterns, and emotional triggers using inputs like calendar activity, to-do lists, journaling, or email sentiment.
• Provide insights like:
• “You tend to delay tasks involving uncertainty.”
• “You’ve been most productive during mornings this week.”
• Surface recurring themes or bottlenecks, such as fear of rejection or overcommitment.

Skill Development Mentor

• The AI provides personalised pathways for learning or improving critical skills.

Capabilities:

• Suggest books, courses, or micro-experiments to develop skills (e.g., public speaking, negotiation, time management).
• Role-play scenarios like interviews or difficult conversations, giving real-time feedback.
• Break complex goals into manageable, step-by-step plans tailored to your learning style.

Opportunity Multiplier

• The AI expands your access to opportunities by identifying serendipitous connections, resources, and pathways.

Capabilities:

• Scan networks or platforms for relevant collaborators, events, or projects.
• Offer suggestions like:
• “Reach out to [Person X]; their interests align with your current project.”
• “Explore these adjacent fields where your skills are highly transferable.”
• Automate introductions or schedule meetings to reduce friction.

Decision-Support Partner

• The AI helps you weigh options and anticipate outcomes, acting as a trusted second opinion.

Capabilities:

• Use decision matrices to highlight potential actions’ pros, cons, and trade-offs.
• Simulate scenarios to predict the impact of choices.
• Based on your values and goals, recommend when to take calculated risks and when to hold back.

Motivation Tracker and Encourager

• The AI keeps you accountable and motivated to take action.

Capabilities:

• Set reminders for actionable tasks tied to larger goals.
• Celebrate small wins to reinforce positive behaviours.
• Provide motivational nudges like:
• “Remember why you started this project — it’s aligned with your vision of personal growth.”

Burnout Prevention Guard

• The AI ensures you maintain balance and avoid overextending yourself.
• Capabilities:
• Monitor signs of overwork, such as excessive meeting hours or skipped breaks.
• Suggest rest periods, boundary-setting tips, or mindfulness exercises.
• Encourage delegation of repetitive or low-impact tasks.

Key Features of the AI Agent

Personalisation

The Agent learns your unique goals, preferences, and personality over time. Examples:

• It prioritises based on your long-term vision.
• It adapts formal, casual, or motivational communication styles to suit your preferences.

Context-Aware Recommendations

• The agent integrates data from various inputs (e.g., calendars, task managers, emails, fitness trackers) to provide contextually relevant insights.
• Example: If you’re preparing for a pitch, practice with a virtual audience and review successful examples.

Two-Way Feedback Loop

• The agent lets you fine-tune its advice by providing feedback, ensuring it evolves alongside your needs.
• Example: “This feedback is too generic — can you be more specific about areas I can improve?”

Proactive Nudging

• The agent doesn’t wait for input — it actively identifies opportunities or risks and surfaces them.
• Example: “You’ve been hesitating about asking for feedback — would you like help drafting a request email?”

How the AI Agent Supports Agency in Action

Scenario 1: Boosting Risk-Taking

• Mirror Function: “You haven’t pitched any new ideas this month. Could fear of rejection be holding you back?”
• Mentor Function: “Let’s role-play pitching your idea to a tough audience.”
• Multiplier Function: “Here are three potential collaborators who could help bring this idea to life.”

Scenario 2: Learning a New Skill

• Mirror Function: “You tend to skip practice sessions when tasks feel overwhelming.”
• Mentor Function: “Here’s a micro-learning plan: Watch this 5-minute video and try this low-stakes exercise.”
• Multiplier Function: “This event next week features experts in the skill you’re developing — should I add it to your calendar?”

Scenario 3: Managing Burnout

• Mirror Function: “Your workload has increased by 25% this month, and you’ve skipped three breaks today.”
• Mentor Function: “Consider prioritising tomorrow and delegating these three low-impact items.”
• Multiplier Function: “Here’s a guided meditation app to help you unwind.”

Implementation Ideas for an Agency-Enhancing AI Agent

Building Blocks

• To create a prototype, use existing AI APIs (e.g., GPT for natural language, calendar APIs for context).
• Combine tools like Notion, Zapier, or Microsoft Power Automate to integrate your workflows.

Interfaces

• Mobile app: Offers real-time nudges and decision support on the go.
• Browser extension: Provides context-sensitive feedback while you work (e.g., email drafting).
• Voice assistant: Hands-free advice and motivation through smart devices.

Privacy and Security

• Ensure the AI respects privacy by processing sensitive data locally or securely in a private cloud.
• Allow the user to control what data the agent accesses and retains.

Challenges to Address

Over-Reliance

• Users may become too dependent on the AI, delegating critical decisions. To avoid this, the AI should focus on enabling self-sufficiency.

Ethical Boundaries

• The agent must respect ethical boundaries, ensuring its recommendations align with the user’s values and not manipulate their choices.

Balancing Proactivity and Annoyance

• The agent needs to nudge, not nag. Implementing a customisable Bot for notifications ensures it remains a helpful partner.

The Vision

An Agency-Enhancing AI Agent becomes your trusted partner, helping you recognise blind spots, learn new skills, and act decisively. It doesn’t just amplify your ability to achieve goals — it enables you to redefine what’s possible. By pairing human Agency with AI’s capabilities, you unlock a new level of personal growth and potential.

Would you trust an AI Agent to guide your journey toward influential Agency? Be brave. It’s time to find out.

About the author: Greg Twemlow, Founder of XperientialAI©. Read more of my 300+ articles at: https://gregtwemlow.medium.com/

Greg Twemlow, Founder of XperientialAI©.

Greg Twemlow: Sharing what I’ve learned from my career of 35 years as a citizen of the world, parent, corporate executive, entrepreneur, and CEO of XperientialAI, focused on experiential learning for maximum impact with AI. Contact Greg: greg@xperiential.ai